Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
