Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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