im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
