i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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