it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Less talking, more tequila
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
