Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
