You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
