There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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