found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
