did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
