Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
