I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
