Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
