Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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