You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
