Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
