I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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