U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
