I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have aggressive nipples.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
