..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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