That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
