Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
