Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
