Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
