If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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