why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
