I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
