I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Randomize
