Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
