Define "chronic" masturbator.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you will always have a special place in my vag
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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