Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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