At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Terrible idea I love it
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
