I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
