I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
