at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize