Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
