Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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