I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
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