Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
