i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
