We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
