he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
