3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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