Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
