This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
