Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
