when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
