I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
