stop calling my apartment porn island.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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