please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I look better un-naked...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
